3 Red Flags to Watch for in Writing Groups

You’ve heard me talk about the positives that a writing community can bring to you and your writing. But sometimes a group just isn’t a good fit for you. And sometimes there can be flags to watch out for that you should back away from a group, no matter what.

Flag 1: Unenforced Rules

Writing groups don’t need to have super-strict rules, but they do need rules, and those rules need to be enforced. For example: How will people share their writing samples? Send it out beforehand or read during the meeting? What is the limit on how long the sample should be? Has everyone agreed on the levels of violence or sex that can they will be comfortable with? How will new members be vetted and recruited? When it comes to critiques: How will they be given? Will people write them down and hand them in silently or talk out loud? What will the moderator do when people become disruptive, personal, or can’t handle feedback? What will other members do if the moderators don’t consistently enforce these rules?

Flag 2: Don’t Know how to Give Feedback

Giving feedback on anything is hard, and it is even harder with a person’s writing. Writing is a personal thing and giving polite, accurate, actionable feedback takes practice. Some people are great at this— others aren’t. Do people in this group know how to do it? Does everyone just say “that’s great” and move on? That might feel nice, but it isn’t helpful to you as you try to develop your craft. Neither is feedback that is too blunt, or that has nothing to do with what you’ve written. Are you pressured to use all the feedback, even if it isn’t helpful, or does everyone agree that you should use the feedback that helps and not the rest?

Flag 3: Toxic Personalities

Mean people can be found anywhere, and sadly that includes in the book world. If you find people in your group who describe their feedback as “tough love” or “telling it like it is”—make a run for it. These are more than likely the same people who can’t handle even the most polite suggestions towards their own writings, because they know everything and do it all perfectly. Don’t fall into the trap of believing this, my friends. Every writer needs feedback on their work from fresh eyes. And no one needs to hear that feedback come at them in harsh or unfriendly ways.

Critique, whether from an editor or a writing partner/group, should challenge us. It should make us look at our writing and ask questions. That's what's great about writing groups: you get different point of view and the possibility of different angles to look at your writing. But challenging our thinking doesn't mean belittling us; forcing us to change what we're writing to make someone else in the group happy;or being unkind in any way.

If the group you’re in has you feeling down about yourself or your work, stressed, or more negative than excited about your writing, these are some of the big red flags that you should leave the group. Don’t give up though. Writing communities are just like every other relationship: some will work better than others, and you should always keep looking until you find the perfect fit.

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